The Common Act to Judge What One Does Not Know; or, Why I Have Not Seen Snakes On a Plane

Maybe it was the title, but no, that falls short of the entire truth. It’s what the title is symptom of: the marketing machine selling beef jerky as filet mignon. There’s already buzz that this film is a cult-classic. The only thing cult I can see is the cult of personality. A cult classic cannot be a self-conscious attempt at being such, it’s a bizarre creation, an original creation – it’s not a template; Eraserhead, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Jodorowsky’s “El Topo” – to name a few.

Snakes On a Plane? Come on now… I can see the nearest hipster run into the “café” and intellectualize the phenomena of what is now known as Snakes On a Plane. I just want to repeat the title as many times as I can, because, there is genius to it… it’s something you love to pronounce and even enjoy hearing about as much as Samuel L Jackson’s scream. I mean, does Hollywood have any shame? Mr. Jackson’s career mirrors this film’s tragic flaw – you know what will happen before you see it.

The world came to love and admire Samuel L. Jackson’s authoritative persona after his Pulp Fiction performance, but all Hollywood seems to want from him is to relive the intensity of his famous Ezekiel 25:17 speech, “…the path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of …“ I bet many of you can fill in the blanks… music to any admirer’s ears. Hollywood loves to find a moment that hits the jackpot and then squeeze it over and over again until it has as much juice as fire wood.

Snakes On a Plane? Name it “Marry Lou Died on a Plane” and let the zaniness of giant snakes surprise and bewilder our rationale that people get paid millions to think of this shit. But please do not bring on the marketing squad to mind-fuck us into believing something is a cult classic that has been out for 1 week. You find cult classics on the video shelf of the strange kid in high school who often obsessed himself in Goth literature or in the prized collection of a film buff, but never in the possession of the mass market. So…I’m sorry to be so cynical, but let us decide what is cult, please don’t step on that authenticity in the same breadth that Samuel’s has: turning original art into a parody of itself. I’ll give Mr. Jackson the benefit of the doubt, because I still remember him robbing McDowell’s in Coming to America – I know he worked his ass off before he made that speech for Quentin Tarantino. I also know Hollywood has also worked its ass-off to get the cinematic dominance it now enjoys, but the world is bursting for something new from film and right now, there isn’t a CGI snake in sight who can recite Ezekiel 25:17 the way Samual Jackson could pre-stardom.

Film Cousin Blog Introduction

Film Cousin is a blog dedicated to serious and thoughtful criticism of film, both classic and comtemporary. Here we’ll review what’s playing in the cinema to the timeless classics, and anything in between we feel is worth writing about.

Who Are We? The blog was started by after finding some inspiration while exchanging emails with my cousin in France. He provided some ass-ripping criticism of the short film I was writing and the ensuing dialogue that followed is what got me here.

So what now…

…we encourage enthusiastic and intelligent posts aimed at extracting the artistic and/or cultural essense of the films we choose to review. Or, inversely, we encourage a ravenous deconstruction of a film whose attempt at art falls no further than posturing. And, of course, I’ll repeat the motto of the great story teacher, Robert McKee, “write the truth.”

If you want to start posting reviews we encourage you to email us…we’d be happy to add you as a member.

Have fun…